You are not here to please others
If someone doesn’t like you or doesn’t get along with you, they don’t have to pay attention to you if they don’t want to; they can choose to ignore you. You’re not here to appease others or put up with the inexcusable. Choose fair distance over phony hypocrisy every time.
According to experts in so-called interpersonal psychology (the study of individuals’ links to their closest social backgrounds), 10% of the people we meet in a day would not like it if we met them. They would not fit into our maps or life puzzles, in other words.
In the same way that we carry out little “personal hygiene” rituals throughout the day to maintain our health and attractiveness, it is also vital to begin practicing “mental hygiene.” One of his first recommendations is as straightforward as it is important: don’t strive to please everyone. It’s a completely pointless source of misery.
Some people don’t like it doesn’t mean we have to react harshly and forcefully to claim our territory. Coexistence shouldn’t be that difficult at the end of the day. It is solely based on “being” and “letting be,” or “don’t do for yourself what you don’t want for yourself.”
We must be expert architects of respectful and productive sincerity that results in no one being harmed. Stop succumbing to the false hypocrisy that we all witness every day in our daily lives.
You’re not here to please anyone, not even the people who matter.
You may not care whether or not specific individuals like you at times. However, more complicated circumstances develop when we discover that people close to us dislike us or refuse to mate with us.
There are critical moments in life that are both bitter and confusing. Consider an adolescent or young man who is just entering adulthood and is becoming acutely aware that his way of life, thoughts, and values about himself differ from those of his parents. Similarly, sensing that someone we’re drawn to doesn’t like us can be painful.
If we are currently in one of these circumstances, we must remember the following:
What others think of us should never take precedence over how we feel about ourselves. Allowing any form of hierarchy to support your self-esteem is a bad idea. If your family doesn’t like your personality, the fault is with them, not with you.
Another factor to consider is the ongoing desire for acceptance from others for many people to believe they are valuable. Never let this harmful way of thinking get the best of you. Others’ comments do not define you; instead, your self-love does.
It’s also a good idea to allow ourselves permission to be flawed.
Your views, expectations, and ideals should never be surpassed by what others think or believe.
You should be able to be truthful to yourself. Understand that you don’t have to force the impossible or settle for lies if someone doesn’t like you. Forced love or affection is not only ineffective but also poisonous. You are not here to please others
So keep in mind that it is not in our power nor our responsibility to try to please everyone.
The web of hypocrisy’s subtlety Some pose as best friends but are hypocrites. There are fake loves that sail on stormy seas swept by hypocritical storms. Some fathers and women brag about their educational abilities when, in reality, they have no idea what their children require.
Many of our closest relationships are tangled in a web of hypocrisy. Indeed, we are sometimes able to recognize and tolerate it. Surely you have someone close to you who tells you how much they like you, how well they get along with you, and how admirable you are daily. “Do everything properly!” they say, their voice carrying a whiff of deception and uncomfortably hypocritical hypocrisy.
Please don’t do it, and don’t let these things happen to you.
They suffocate in the near term and are damaging in the long run. The term hypocrite comes from the Greek word “hypocrisies,” which means “to feign, act, or speak with masks.” It’s worth noting that Noam Chomsky, a linguist, and social scientist, has argued that hypocrisy is one of our society’s deadliest cancers.
It can foster injustices such as inequality, warfare, and other kinds of transgressions within the twisted framework of deceit when used or implemented in more complicated sectors.
We should not throw our heads down and give in to anything we don’t like or believe is unfair to us because others expect us to. If someone doesn’t like you, let him depart if he wants to, but don’t allow the ceremonial dance of deception to take place. Allow no clouds of self-righteousness to darken your vision as you stand up for the clarity of dignified and, of course, respectful hearts.